the promise

i wish i could remember the exact date; let's say some time a couple of weeks ago. i looked upon him and promised him that i would never put my own shit upon him, never make him responsible for dealing with my shit. never lay by burdens on him and reverse the crucial roles of parent and child. love him fiercely. allow him to make his own mistakes, to fall down and get back up, to let go, loosen the strings and seek, find, love.

on motherhood

as i lie with babe beside me in his bassinet, i pray for sleep...for it to wash over me. for now i sleep with one eye open, ear to the cradle, brain prattling off the SIDS checklist, trying to reassure me that he is safe (no loose bedding, on his back, plenty of air circulation)... and as i ponder this loss--the loss of sleep and the fear of ultimate loss-- i think of my more selfish loss, too.

it is amazing how pregnancy prepares us for this sacrificial loss. i feel like for the better part of a year my body has been training me for loss. and here he is. and with every wave of emotion that rushes over me, every intense morsel of lovey goodness, the tide seems to take a little piece of the old me back with it. the girl (and yes, even a thirty-four i would still tend to view myself as a warped seventeen year old, a little reckless, a girl who would hoard love) without so many cares, whose life she had designed as such that she could go out on a figurative school night without fearing how she would feel in the morning...

love is funny this way. try as i might, i find it impossible to focus on the now, without looking to the past, to what i could have been until now, to how i could have loved my own mother more (as she made her way to the terminal i could think only of her sacrifice, and of the hundreds of times i had disappointed her or not loved her back). i think of the future: will he ever need me as much as he needs me now? will he ever know this love i have for him? should he?

the birth story

7:40 pm on saturday--started having contractions...different from others; rhythmic and dare i say enjoyable? i knew that this process was starting for real (i had lost my mucous plug the night before), and i enjoyed visualizing myself on top of the “wave”. i was calling upon so many resources i had over the last months....remembering an email from deidre and the idea of the time and space of contractions, thinking of them mathematically (and somehow, that did make them seem less powerful). i recalled the idea of riding a wave, and pictured myself floating atop them (and never tousled under), in a lotus position, looking peaceful. hippie, but true. i yoga’ed. i focused on my breath. i also thought- through every rush- of my zen friend, karen, and the idea that once i have the contraction, it is in the past and gone forever.



so i labored. i made soup. brian installed the car seat. i finished packing. i did everything but what i should have done, which was to get myself into BED!! i called karadean, i called my mom. i called deidre (my long distance doula and natural birth mentor!) who recommended that i call my midwife, have a glass of wine and get to sleep! she reminded me that i was about to run a marathon and would need to gear up.

sandy, my midwife, was glad that i called and also recommended that i get some rest. of course, rest was impossible. my contractions became more intense. i recall wanting to head in to the birthing center around 5 am, but brian was very instrumental in keeping me focused on our goal of not leaving until my contractions were four minutes apart....so i continued to labor. somewhere within that time my water broke (only as a trickle).

at about 11 am, we called sandy again and told her that we were thinking of coming in. she was surprised that she hadn’t heard from us earlier, which made me feel like i was doing well. we gathered up our things and headed down to fetch our friend joyous, who was caring for the biscuit and also riding along with us to the hospital. i had fewer intense contractions in the car, and recalled that being discussed in our childbirth classes: the tendency for contractions to get further apart and less intense as you move to new environments. this was evident throughout the process.

as we made our way to the front door of the hospital, i had a very intense contraction in the doorway. with my eyes closed, i leaned against the door and a stranger came up to me and said, “oh honey...you can do it” and touched me on the shoulder. a small thing, but a big part of my experience and the thread of connectivity i felt to women who had gone before.

we were welcomed by the nursing staff, one of whom was the wife of one of brian’s friends, adam armstrong (adam was the first musician brian met in new york who demonstrated to him how one can be both a successful musician and father). we were brought into the room, which looked more like a hotel room or a comfy bedroom than a delivery room. i was hooked up to a fetal monitor (which was required for just twenty minutes), and i labored there in a rocking chair while the nurse drew me a warm bath.

contractions:





i felt comforted, loved, and supported. i made my way to the bath, we put on music....the nurses gave brian a hair band and he tied up my hair. brian kept telling me that i was a jedi, and fed me pieces of a power bar. i felt so safe and loved, free to express my emotions, to cry, to let go.

the birth partner:





at my first cervical check, i had dilated to 7 cm, which is unusual for a first check!! we were thrilled. at the second check i was 9 cm, and right around the corner from pushing time. sandy offered me sorbet and ginger ale. everyone was so encouraging. at the third check, i still had a little “lip” of cervix to go.

the transitional stage was tough. i was feeling the baby’s head corkscrew down into the birth canal. sandy suggested that we walk the halls, and that i lean against her and pull on the rails of the walls when the contractions hit. i didn’t like the positions in the halls. i had to pee terribly, yet my bladder wouldn’t empty. i felt exposed. unsafe. with every reassurance that i wouldn’t push the baby out while in the hallway or on the toilet, i remained unconvinced.

we returned to the room and i tried, unsuccessfully, to push. my bladder just felt too full, so i was given a catheter (unmedicated), which hurt like hell and terrified me. there was a changeover of nurses, and my awesome little coven of faery wood nymphs split up and left. they were replaced by a nurse who was simply uninterested in assisting us with the process in the same way (she seemed more interested in what everyone was ordering from the takeout menu, myself not included). the instructions for pushing were overwhelming: “elbows out! pull on your legs! push! chin down! eyes closed! push! no-- not with your face! push!”

my contractions petered out. they were still intense, but few and far between. i knew that there was an emotional block for me with the pushing--what was i afraid of? i think i was afraid to parent, afraid that i wouldn’t love my child enough, afraid of who he would be and who i was becoming. sandy discussed my options with me, and told me that i would need to ramp these up. she suggested pitocin (and we had tried everything---black and blue cohosh, hours of nipple stimulation, squatting, bouncing, walking). i said that if we were transferring to labor and delivery and i would be getting pitocin, than i would be getting an epidural as well. to me, the dream was over, and to sandy, this meant that perhaps i would sleep and get my strength back up.

i knew as i was wheeled onto the elevator and brought to the next floor up that i was going through another transition, from a natural, normal birth to a medical one. i was immediately strapped to a continual fetal monitor, put into bed, given a blood pressure cuff (from which i still bear the marks on my upper left arm), brian was shoved aside. the attending doctor came in and gave me an internal exam--he seemed disinterested in my requests in general. it seemed that my nurse and sandy were at odds.

i was prepped for the epidural, and told that if i had a contraction while the needle was being inserted into my spine i was to hold still and not move. of course, just as i was being given this instruction, i began to have a contraction. i begged the anesthesiologist to wait just fifteen seconds to insert the needle, and was given no response (though i did believe that he waited. brian says otherwise.). this became a point of contention between brian and sandy and the anesthesiologist, and made me sad. it took three sticks with the needle, and i was numbed. numb to the process, numb from the waist down. i was given a catheter again and could have cared less. i was given pitocin and never felt a contraction. i slept for two hours.

i awoke and was asked if i was ready to push. i was. i pushed and pushed. they asked me if i was feeling the contractions and, barely, i was...enough to take advantage of them, to override them, show them who was boss and f@*&ing PUSH.

sandy could see the head and was saying, “all that black hair!” wha? black hair?! who was this little guy on his way out? brian was holding my left leg and breathing with me through every push. the nurse was annoying the crap out of me, kind of half- whining, “cmon. push. you can do it. push push push.” i chose to focus on sandy.

max made his arrival in a swish of poop, much of which was running down my thigh. he was suctioned, he let out the cry of the living and (thank god) was placed upon my chest. this squirmy, squishy, wide eyed little alien baby. here he was.

my body, on the other hand, was unsuccessfully delivering the placenta. it was “retracted”, and not coming out. i was hemorrhaging and passing out. brian was ushered out of the room and he and the baby were sent to the nursery. the attending doctor returned, this time with a resident who had popped in earlier to take a gander at my gaping vagina (without so much as introducing himself....asshole). both of them got to work on detaching my placenta as i began to feel myself getting woozy. the humorless attending found nothing but puzzlement in my interest in seeing the placenta, which i argued to him that i had grown in the past ten months and wanted to see what it looked like. after i was stabilized, brian said that he overheard the resident tell someone in the hall that they “probably wouldn’t need to take [me] up to the OR after all”. gulp.

once i was in order, i rested for a couple of hours with my sweet new boy. we were wheeled up to recovery, and most of the rest of that time immediately following max's arrival is a blur...

the hospital stay on the recovery floor was a mixed bag, but in general a good experience. max was so chill that he was the demo baby for “how to give a sponge bath”. he’s a nursing champ, and his discharge weight was the same as his birth weight! (7 lb 10 oz) . brian was present at max’s circumcision, as he believes that if he is going to have an elective procedure procedure performed on his child, then he is going to have the guts to bear witness to it and not turn a blind eye. so brave, both of my boys.

and as for me, i think it is obvious that i am in love. i feel like there is a magnifying glass on my heart, like in the grinch who stole christmas, and that is it bursting as my heart has grown three times its size. even through the sleepless nights, i cherish knowing that this phase will pass, and sadly i acknowledge that its all a phase, every day a milestone.

life is sweet

maximillian morgan wolfe arrived after 34 hours of labor on monday, october 20, 2008 at 3:31 am. 7 lb, 10 oz. 21 inches long. beautiful, amazing from head to toe.

the child barely cries. he nurses like a champ. he sleeps! what did i ever in my life do to deserve this beautiful boy? as the song goes,

"somewhere in my youth or childhood
i must have done something good."

yearbookin' the biscuit!

here's the biscuit circa 1968. that's one hep dog:





i really like this one, too. the glasses definitely add a distinguished flair:





however, it's clear that the biscuit would have really been a child of the eighties. in fact, i think i went to high school with these guys in wv (not during the eighties, but we were a little behind the times):






disturbing....


in baby news, today is my due date, and i think things may be moving along. i don't want to gross anybody out, so i won't post details....but i will say that i had a little visitor called "the mucous plug" last night (click here for a detailed explanation). sweet.

yearbook yourself!

once again, i am being a big old copycat of my friend kage....kage, i swear, imitation is the highest form of flattery and i adore you and your bloggy goodness. hope you don't mind, but i must share my yearbook photos with the dear readers!!

that said, your should all yearbook yourselves and send me a copy, or post the results on your own blogs!!! SO FUN!!


it is alarming how much this one looks like my mom:


but i think this one is my favorite....note the single long-stemmed rose and the solid gold dancer hair. that's hot!

the kicker

last night, bdub convinced me to see one of his favorite bands -rudder- with him. bdub is excellent friends with two of the members and LOVES their drummer (and welcomes any opportunity to hear him play).



apparently, he is not the only wolfeinelli who is enthralled with keith carlock. our little max, who has been pretty mellow lately (aside from some twists and turns during my yoga class) perked up quite a bit when keith hit the skins. i swear, i think he was kicking along to the bass drum. no kidding. perhaps we've got a third generation drummer on our hands? crazy.

plus, he has dropped a little! i am experiencing "the lightening", and i love it! it feels good to be able to take a deep breath again.

showered with love

i am truly a blessed woman.

it all started with my mom (or i think it did...apparently many peeps have been working undercover in the wolfeinelli showering department). this spring, she delightfully announced to me that she wanted to throw us a shower, and throw one she did.

brian and i arrived in morgantown one sunny weekend in august and spent a gorgeous sunday surrounded by friends (ours and parental) and family. the day was a smashing success, which is a good thing, considering irene may have been a bit frantic about hosting the event. in the preceding days and weeks, i was emailed about many a detail, from themes (nixed) to games (definitely nixed) to irene's confusion over our desire to have the affair be co-ed ("but what will the MEN do?"). i agreed wholeheartedly to a "diaper cake" centerpiece which the crafty irene erected three layers tall...it consisted of about sixty rolled up diapers and was festooned with pacifiers, rattles, and other cute little toys. truly a sight to behold.


(the above photo is an approximation...dare i say irene's diy version was even better)

when consulted numerous times of what to serve, i suggested some grilled pizzas, in the interest of keeping things economical, fun, and easy. this proved to be stress-inducing for our hosts, i could tell, and my dear friend katie --personal chef and kitchen goddess-- stepped in to relieve the worries. she was quite a hit with the recently or soon-to-be retired menfolk, who apparently decided that what they would do, as irene had so fretted over, would be to quiz katherine on how they could improve upon their skills as home cooks and gourmands. thanks again, katie. you are seriously a trooper.

the following month, a very sneaky kara dean and dylan threw another affair. smart lady and busy mom that she is, kara arranged several committees, including those involving food (dylan), set up (heather dawn) and decorations (joyous aka "the white tornado" and deej, purveyor of all things good).

"what tha...?!"


it was a spectacular affair and, once again, the weather gods smiled upon us. kara dean had many fun activities planned, such as a compilation of fabric squares covered in handwritten labor wishes and a betting pool predicting when max will arrive! deej created favors of handmade, signature scented baby shoe soaps from vintage molds. amazing.



finally, just a couple of weeks ago, i was informed of an evening job for parents mag. apparently, a reshoot was needed due to a horrible kids groomer who was hired in a pinch when i was not available. smugly, i said, "sure, i'll do the reshoot", only to arrive at another surprise shower! the parents peeps raided their goodie closet (which is NOT a myth-- these things really do exist) and gifted max with all manner of adorable baby things, plus a lovely spa gift certificate for mama.

aside from compiling a registry and the consulting sessions with irene, i had nothing to do with any of this...and i couldn't imagine planning three more lovely, fun, and stress-free (for me, anyway) events. to quote my new favorite book momma zen, "the unplanning was perfect". a good lesson for nowlze in letting go of control, which i am certain will come in handy in the days to come.

speaking of which, i am 37 weeks today. max is full term. *gulp*.

cuts like a knife

while i made bdub swear that he wouldn't tell ANYONE about the little incident i am going to reveal, i think i need to come clean. maybe i can help pregnant women everywhere who feel they have lost complete, utter, and total control of their emotions?

so we are driving home from a lovely two days in the berkshires yesterday (bdub played with the sweet divines at mass MoCA--highly recommended museum if you are ever in the area).

bryan adams' "heaven" comes on the radio (no--not RYan adams, the alt country indie darling. BRYan adams, the 80's cheeseball).

"oh, thinkin' about our younger years....

it was only you and me
we were young and wild and free...."

that was all it took. i crumpled into a puddle of mush. i didn't have a pretty cry, either, with a couple of nostalgic tears running down my cheeks that could be quietly wiped away with any sort of dignity. i bawled, snotty, ugly, and inconsolable, i kept repeating to bdub, "i am SUCH a DORK! i can't believe i am bawling over a stupid bryan adams song!"

upon relaying this story to my friend dylan, he assured me that my brother, jay, would lose all respect for me if i ever revealed this nugget of truth to him. if i ever had any punk rock credibility at any time, it, like so much of my former, stoic-in-the-face-of bad-80's pop- self, is gone with the wind. hormones are a funny thing that way.

thankfulness

this little conversation could be overheard at 92 hawthorne last night:

me:"bdub, thanks for making me soup."

bdub: "thanks for going to massachusetts with me this weekend."

me: "thanks for getting such a nice hotel room."

bdub: "thanks for letting me impregnate you."

new digs, no time to blog

we're all moved in! unbelievable!

i think that perhaps my stress level is starting to alleviate. after a hellish week, i was awoken at four am by a full bladder, and upon my return to bed had a tremendously cathartic and snotty cry. not at all a pretty cry, but one of those cries that really feels like one is exorcising demons (my demons being those of complete and utter irritability, focused nearly 100% towards my poor bdub, bless him).

so anyway, i actually had a weekend off to enjoy my new digs, which i have been looking forward to for months. i was booked for work every day this week, which left no time for any exploring of my new 'hood, and since exploring takes too much energy and my feet are seriously KILLING me, i have been laying low on the home front (the home front including kara dean's new digs as well) and nesting like a little bird.

all that we have left to do is the nursery and some accessorizing! i can't wait for my first opportunity to hit ikea and target, as i believe that these shopping trips and the storage and organizational products they promise will greatly improve my quality of life.

a fun development here at hawthorne street is the tremendous and practically instantaneous popularity of the biscuit. our building is full of the most adorable children i have ever seen, and once one of them knew the biscuit's name, it seemed like all of them were instantly smitten and dying to get a look at him and give him a pet. the other day, as i took out the biscuit for a pee, some 10-ish year old boy i had never seen before in my life came speeding by on his bike. he yelled to us, "hi biscuit!" and waved. who are you, sweet boy, and how do you know my dog?

pics of new place to follow, i promise. new pregnancy symptoms (as i am now 30 weeks) include:

-a perpetually full bladder
-a left foot that looks like a potato
-insomnia
-inability to see my toes
-difficulty picking objects up off of the floor (which can actually be quite amusing)
-the desire to want to bludgeon peeps who do me wrong

bump watch '08 continues

as per the request of readers everywhere (or...actually....just ehrrin keenan), here are a couple of preggo photos. i was a little over 26 weeks when these were taken.

i almost titled this post "down in fraggle rock" because i know i look like a fraggle in photos---lots of nose and quite the jim henson creation, and i cannot be convinced otherwise. see for yourself:


fraggles:















nowlze:















here are a couple of others:

























some variation of the last one, but with me holding an ultrasound photo, will appear in an upcoming issue of parents magazine accompanying an article about prenatal testing. while i am thrilled to have the photos and i heart the photographer (alexandra grablewski) to pieces, doing this little assignment for them was pure torture and decidedly not my idea. i will leave the wolfeinelli forays into modeling to the biscuit from now on.

since i'm thinking about it...

my poor dog. the other day, as i looked at his crumpled up mug, filled with longing to take a walk or cuddle as he gazed at me from across the room, i asked him, "what's wrong, tuna? does this doog need some love from mooma?" and i thought to myself, "how does this poor creature know his own name, much less mine?"

so i have set out to list all of his nicknames. my guess is that there are atleast a hundred and that most involve a double O...let's see:

actual name: the biscuit
registered name: RB's biscuits and gravy
nicknames:
1. bully
2. boolee
3. boo
4. the doog
5. sheena
6. sheena easton
7. judy
8. judy in the sky (? why? who calls their dog this?)
9. tuna
10. tuna doog
11. hot tuna
12. tune
13. poo
14. frida
15. mooney
16. poodle
17. shooter
18. shooter mcgavin
19. boogie
20. floozie
21. floo
22. tulip
23. mama's little tulip (ripped off from ehrin keenan's dog, the k bear)
24. shoonee
25. poot
26. pooter
27. boodee
28. biggie
29. toodle
30. goo
31. uncle mina
32. mina
33. hootchie mama
34. hootchie
35. hootch
36. hacker
37. dude
38. peanut
39. hooter
40. coodler (one who likes to coodle)
45. coodle doog (see above)
46. cood
47. pah poo
48. hootcha boolee
49. snoozie
50. nibbler

(let's stop there, for now...)

we found a place! HALLELUJAH!

and it's about @(*%$& time!

wolfeinelli inc headquarters will be moving to 92 hawthorne street in just 17 short days. i will not disclose the rent on here, as i do not discuss things like rents in greater new york city....this is because to those fine peeps who live in new york or other expensive metropolitan areas, our rent would seem like a STEAL, yet to those who live in less populated areas, it would appear more like a ripoff.

but i will say this: we are moving to a lovely block in prospect lefferts garden for little more than we pay now. we will be a mere six stops to the city on the Q train and just 2 blocks from prospect park! we will have two bedrooms in a lovely pre-war building with hardwood floors and great big windows. the unit is entirely renovated, as in the plastic is still on the toilet seat, so our hienies will be the first to sit on it. it is up one short flight of stairs--easy peasy for the biscuit and for transporting things like strollers and drum kits.

here are some pics:




i am psyched. while moving can be a bit of a stressful endeavor (or, atleast, the packing can), i love making lists of things to buy, going shopping for home bargains, decorating, picking out paint samples...the whole nine. i'm needing this fresh start. i am so over all of the annoyances of 89 maujer, starting with the pests (i think the final straw was the giant flying cockroach i came nose to nose with last week. horrifying.)

on another disturbing and frustrating note re. vermin: my animals have fleas!! first i noticed them on the biscuit, which is just ri-dingdong-diculous, because he was dosed with frontline. turns out that under all of that thick white fluff, the woob is also crawling with them. my theory is that they hopped on the woob during one of his suntanning sessions he likes to carry out on our patio table. because his outdoor visits are so brief, i didn't bother giving him a flea preventative. bad kitty-mama, i know. so now, both of our pets are swimming in chemically, flea-killing goodness (that i hope for baby max's sake doesn't get all over my fingers and cross through the placenta when i apply it to them.)

and in baby max news, i am now at 26 weeks! we just had our appointment with sandy woods, one of two midwives who will go through this pregnancy with us and possibly deliver the babe (it will be either sandy or corie macqueen, our other awesome midwife.) after drinking a really nasty orange liquid for my one hour glucose screening, i was weighed and measured and poked and prodded by sandy and given the "all good" prognosis once again. thank god. max is doing great in there...he even kicked when he heard his own heartbeat! i wonder where he gets that rhythm from?....

beaches, weddings, breakdowns...will the fun ever end?

pardon the space between posts....i have been a busy bee!

on june 17, my sweet friend doggie and i set out to meet up with katherine and the girls for our annual ladies' beach trip. though there were several omissions this time around, what with new babies and moves and the like, we still had an amazing time. the girls who were there (myself included) REALLY needed the break!

as always, we ate like queens: homemade waffles with a dollop of fresh amish cottage cheese and raspberries, cracked crab, fish tacos, grilled corn on the cob...it was as if the deliciousness never ended. plus, the weather was perfect and i got to warm the bun. apparently, babies in utero see rose colors when you lay out in the sun...who knew?



(beach babies circa 2004)

a couple of days after the beach trip, my tanned butt (along with brian, heather, and the biscuit) made its way down to wv for the wedding of my little brother chris to the little firecracker. i don't think i can find the words to describe how thrilled i am to have jen as part of our fold. jen rocks. she is sweet, funny, smart, a lover of all creatures, and an amazing woman. she's truly one of those people who can light up a room. a total catch. and little bro, of course, is no slouch himself.

i managed to offer a toast to them at the rehearsal dinner without losing my sh*t completely and dissolving into a puddle of tears (a big accomplishment for me, considering that i had not managed to do this at my sister's rehearsal dinner, wherein i had a bit of an emotional breakdown). anyhoo, the dinner was lovely and the wedding even more beautiful.

jen was one of those radiant brides who had a great time at her wedding and seemed to be more concerned with how everyone around her was doing rather than anyone "spoiling her special day" or any of that crap. of course, i did finally manage to lose it at the wedding....what can i say? i am a sucker for a photo montage. damn the background music and the dissolving frames! and why did they both have to be such cute kids? i was putty in their hands and can only pray that i didn't make too much of a blubbering fool of myself.

and here we are , back in brooklyn. the newlyweds are probably sunning their hides on a pebbly hawaiian beach as we speak. beth and the kids are still in morgantown, and my mom will head back to lake tahoe with them. i miss them already, as everytime i see them, they're different people. i feel like sadie had just warmed up to me (allowing me to soothe her, wrapping her little hand around my finger) and poof!! i am gone. it sucks, but such is life. hopefully, it will not be the better part of a year before we see each other again, so long as someone is a good traveller (max, i'm talking to you, buddy).

what a difference nine weeks makes

here's my belly at 12 weeks:





and here it is at 21 weeks:







i thought i had a massive bump at 12 weeks, and now at almost 22 weeks i feel like i look so huge! i know that a month and a half from now i'll probably look back on the 21 week pic and think, "that girl didn't know from huge!"

wha?

yesterday i was walking along 6th ave and west 4th street, when a fellow pointed at my belly and exclaimed to me, "hey! bun in the oven!"

all i could think to respond was "yep."

max's anatomy scan

today was my 20 week anatomy scan, which is essentially a very detailed ultrasound. i had warm gel squirted on my belly, and the technician, adelle, took all kinds of measurements from the images of max: lips, legs, arms, internal organs, his placement in the placenta, hands, feet, digits.

another technician took over, specifically to get images of the chambers of his heart, during which he preferred to flip and turn, so that took a while. she told me that something i ate must have been "very stimulating" for him, which, of course, has had me rethinking my orange juice intake (the only part of my eggs and toast breakfast which i can imagine would be "stimulating".)

a really sweet doctor came in to give me the results--MUCH nicer guy than the wiener doctor who was there for the NT scan. this guy actually seemed interested in how i was feeling, and asked me about my mother's pregnancies and if there were any complications. i told him i was one of five, and he said i needed to catch up, and that maybe next time it'll be twins.

hilarious.

max also quite enjoyed holding one foot with his hand during parts of the exam. both of the techs commented on it and it made them laugh. already the show off.



the results are that everything is fine, normal, perfect, etc. no problems. words cannot express my complete and utter relief.

bye for now!




(p.s. beezie, if you're reading: is it just my imagination, or does he already bear a striking resemblance to jasper, especially in the mouth?)

out of the mouth of babes

today i got to work with two of my favorite kiddie models, esther and georgia. they are vietnamese twin girls with two mommies, they are adopted, and they are AWESOME.

anyway, twin #1 (i think it was esther) looked at my belly and asked, "are you pregnant?"

"yes!" i replied enthusiastically to her.

and with this she stared right at me and said, "you know, you really should adopt."

this cracked me up. i told her that it was a little too late this time around, but maybe next time.

in other pregnancy news, i am feeling max move more and more. on a job a couple of weeks ago, i actually stood up and looked around because i thought i must have been sitting on a cell phone or a cable and receiving some sort of electric shock/vibration. the best way to describe these early flutters (and i feel them several times a day) is as if there is a goldfish swimming around just below my ribs, holding a tiny cellphone that is set to "vibrate". it's weird, but i like it.

culinary treasures of williamsburg

while bdub is away, nowlze shall...eat.

bdub is currently on a little mini-tour with my brightest diamond- southern california and then off to barcelona for just a wee festival before his return. the 'rents came up for a four day jaunt to NY this week, and we had a great time stuffing our faces.

day one we settled in at the cozy black betty for some mediterranean food with a moroccan twist-- moroccan paella for dad, a seafood stew for mom, a chickpea and zucchini stew for me (eh), and various mezze. not bad, though next time i will choose differenty for my entree. the mezze were delightful, though.

day two it was la locanda to satisfy our pasta cravings. how i love la locanda...back when i could actually drink a full glass or two of wine, i loved that they offered a nice house red for four dollars a glass. so cheap, so delish. mom had a puttanesca, dad the seafood pasta, and for me, the eggplant parm. la locanda is perfect comfort food when i am craving the italian american dishes of my girlhood sundays (though still not as good as nana's, of course).

day three was polish food at krolewski jadlo, or "king's feast", which is technically in greenpoint and one of my dad's favorites. i wasn't too keen on polish food, as generally their vegetarian options are all fried and fried food gives me wicked indigestion these days. but, what dad wants, dad gets, so long as he talks it up long enough that everyone gives in if only to quiet him. is that mean? i speak the truth. anyway, i had a plate of pierogi (boiled, not fried), some cucumber salad and a bowl of borscht. other highlights were mom's pickled cucumber soup, which was creamy, loaded with dill, slightly sour and, much to my surprise, served hot! mom also got the polish platter (pierogi, potato pancakes, stuffed cabbage, and sausage) and dad got ham hocks (eeewwww...).

king's feast is big on ambience, though. check it:


come for the 'staches, stay for the food:




day four was my favorite korean/japanese spot, miyako. we started with pa jun, my old standby (korean pancake with crab). i don't know how they manage to elevate the humble pancake to a crispy, fluffy, and (i kid you not) slightly creamy delight, but they do. i also got a california roll to satisfy my sushi craving along with tofu dol sut (tofu, veg, and rice served in a hot pot with sesame oil and chili sauce). mom got the beef dol sut, dad, the garlic shrimp. miyako is flavorful, light, healthy, and delicious. highly recommended over other sushi or korean spots in the 'hood.

pre-miyako, mom and i took advantage of the gorgeous weather and strolled up to fortunato brothers for gelato. i had the tiramisu, she- the coconut. insane. we also got a dozen pastries to take home, including their famous mini canoli and other delights. i think fortunato brothers' gelato needs to become a staple in entertaining houseguests...it's a nice walk from our apartment, and gelato provides the perfect respite from city madness. plus, who can be stressed, worn out, or anything but completely satisfied, really, when eating gelato?

eating aside, i am very grateful for the 'rents visit. despite some pretty loud tv running all day long and maybe some incessant chatter (dad, i'm looking at you), the 'rents are the ultimate in houseguests. i think the biscuit got something like three walks a day, which is crazy. woobie's litter was scooped, our back patio summerized (not an easy chore), our shower and bath scrubbed. i was chaffeured to all of my jobs. clothes were mended, the toaster oven de-crumbed, kitchen shelves dusted....my mom even cleaned up some cat pee and a dead cockroach. that's love.