and for our next kill....

...i wussed out and called my sister in law and her boyfriend, nick.

heather, if you are reading, let me just say this: a man who will come over to your sister in law's apartment at 1 am to help her dispose of a dead baby mouse is one thing--a keeper.

(and here they are, dumping the contents of the zapper:)



of course, last night as i settled in for a relaxing evening at home (this was pre-kill), i thought i would give my email one last check. this appeared in my inbox:


Hi, Noelle,

I know this is rather last minute, and we've never worked together, but I ran into your website when I was searching for a makeup artist.

I have a test shoot tomorrow night (January 26) from 5:30-9ish, with Tara from DNA Models. My regular makeup artist had to decline due to a job, and I've exhausted my other resources.

Please let me know if you're interested."

i looked at his website and it is killer, just the kind of stuff i need for my book.

alas, i was too late. in the two hours between him sending me his email and my reply, he had already found someone for the job.

ah well, atleast i made a new contact, i suppose. one who already has a regular makeup artist. (argh.)

zzaaaaapp!!!!! an update!

ding! dong!
one mouse dead. probably about two hundred more to go (i wish i were joking).

rat zapper's online support was wonderful: after the one who got away (as mentioned in my previous post) i contacted the fine people at rat zapper and have been emailing with a nice woman named cathi for a larger part of the day. she was asking me questions like,

"Was the red light flashing as well as the bait missing with your missed kill?"

"Was this your only missed kill?"

"Could the back of the unit have been touching anything metal?"

and then she got ever-so-gradually more personal with her correspondence:

"I use four Rat Zappers as well as 10 lazy cats and am well aware that those of us who battle rodents want them gone yesterday."

and

"There is a possibility that the metal contact could have an effect. I occasionally get this sort of grounding with my electric horse fencing which is lots of fun when the horses figure it out and escape.

Regards,
Cathi"

i love people like cathi. they are the types of peeps that make me want to leave new york and relocate somewhere where people just want to interact kindly with each other...where people actually give a shit about customer service and other people's problems. but i digress....

i moved the zapper a little further away from our metal metro shelving, threw in a couple of wheat thins and flipped the switch.

lucky for me, after the deed was done, i called our sweet landlord and he was here in a jiffy to dispose of our dead friend (bdub is out of town for the next two days). i fear that for the next kill, i am on my own! eek!

zap!

if only the UPS guy could see the contents of my recent packages from amazon.

the neti pot, which arrived shining and new on monday was a thrill. bdub took some lovely photos of my first attempt, but i fear they are just too gross and involve too much snot and other nastiness for me to post them. however, the neti pot has made me a believer: for the first time since christmas, i can breathe out of my right nostril!! hallelujah!

yesterday's package was even better, though. honestly, it made my day. finally, my rat zapper ultra had arrived!


i know it is highly unlike me, the semi-vegetarian, peta membership having, humane society volunteering, all-around animal obsessed lady to be so psyched about such a crazy deadly device, but the mice have drove me to it. last night one scurried by my shoe and under the couch where i was trying to relax. they have advanced ever closer to our sleeping and chillaxin' quarters, and i have HAD it.

the only bummer is that the little pieces of dog food bdub placed in the zapper last night were gobbled up by this morning, and no dead mouse was left behind in their place. i have put in an email to rat zapper tech support and will report back.

i really pray that this works. it's my only hope.

dogs will be dogs

last night i am cuddling up to some deliciously bad tv (i believe it was "miss america: reality check") when the biscuit comes to his feet and gives me that "i'm going to puke" look.

i hoist him to the floor just in time for him to barf up a small puddle of liquid (his usual)....only to realize that he's not done yet. he proceeds to puke again, this time the biggest hairball i've ever seen. in fact, the biscuit has never puked up hairball in his life. weird.

i grab some paper towels and as i'm lifting the "hairball" i realize...that's no hairball. honest to god, my dog had consumed an entire. baby. mouse. i was cleaning up a baby mouse torso (no head or tail, thank you very much).

i send you this message as a reminder that while our dogs are adorable, while they are our snuggly little babies who do the cutest things and shower us with kisses and cuddles, they also eat garbage....and other dogs' poop....and baby mice. whole.

and a p.s. on my new apartment 'tude

i almost forgot that i would like to share my thoughts on our apartment situation:

while i have been quite dismayed by the piles (literally, piles) of mouse droppings, the cracks where walls meet floors, the wobbly front gate and crooked front door of our abode.... upon perusing the craigslist apartment listings, i have discovered that for the amount of space we have in the neighborhood where we live, even despite our recent and sizeable rent increase, the dub and i are STILL paying a monthly rent that is waaaay under market value. like anywhere between $250 and $400 per month under market value.

to this i say, "let me furnish and improve upon our space with these massive savings that have been cast before me"! i figure this allows me a monthly sum of $200/month to put towards beautifying our space. FLOR tiles? why not? we can take 'em with us when we leave! wall art? again! an investment! poppytalk has examples galore of affordable art!

i can see it now:






i see the addition of the indoor lap pool as completely within my space and budgetary constraints.


also, i am still all ears for any green, non-chemical, and somewhat cruelty-free methods of dealing with our mouse problem, so please leave a comment with any suggestions. so far i have heard only of kitty litter ("used" kitty litter...clearly this doesn't work as we still have both a litter box and mice in our basement), moth balls, and peppermint oil. soon our house will be smelling of my nana's closet and a winter wonderland. mmm....old lady scent....

to bring you some holiday cheer...

this is the best thing ever.

i would give anything to embed it into this blog, so if anyone knows the code, pass it along!

i could use some holiday cheer, to be honest. i have been feeling "blah" since upon our return to new york. i think it has to do with-- despite woobie "the destroyer" and one less mouse in our house-- the suspicion that there are many more hiding in the walls, scurrying around. i am discovering mouse poop in abundance now that my eyes are prone to look for it. it disturbs me. it's along the wall near our bed (on my side), on the carpet in the bathroom, but mostly in the corners of our kitchen, on the shelves. it smells like a guinea pig's cage in there. no joke.

the more i hole up in our apartment, the more i notice its flaws, and the mice are just the tip of the iceberg. i haven't dragged myself to the gym in a couple of weeks. my last haircut was, to put it kindly, not so good. i am majorly disappointed in what i have to show for my work, and i fear for the winter months.

and not to get too personal, but has it ever made you more annoyed when your complaints are followed by less commiseration and more problem-solving? i need commiseration, people! i know how to solve the problem...that's not the point. i know that i need to shower, to clean, to drag myself outside and do the crap-ton of christmas shopping that lies ahead or atleast try to make a dent in my never-ending to-do list. but somehow, it's 4:43 PM, dark outside, and here i sit--in my pajamas.

sigh.

he is the hunter

at six this morning i heard it. it wasn't the cry of "i'm hungry- feed me" nor was it the disturbing, warbling cry of "look out--i'm going to puke up a hairball now".

this was a battle cry that said (to quote bjork): "i am the hunter. i'll bring you the goods."

i poked my husband and said, "either woobs is hurt, or he's gotten the mouse". got it he did. he got it good.

shortly before we left to return to new york from west virginia, the woob went missing for a good twenty minutes. just as we were about to give up and say au revoir to him until our return at christmas, bdub found him in the basement. i gave woobs what-for and we both warned him that he'd better catch that mouse to make it up to us.

so on this thanksgiving, i am grateful for the woobs. i am grateful for all creatures who share their love with us so freely and who trust us and forgive us over and over again; i think of dogs and cats and shelters who want nothing more than to learn to share their love again, and i am especially grateful to the lessons learned from them. i am thankful for my husband who willingly got up at six am --despite having to get up to play a church service at eight-- and scooped up our dead friend and placed him in a baggie (which just the thought of having to do myself fills me with sheer terror and nausea).

i am thankful for family and inlaws in west virginia. for the relaxation, the time spent together, the exhaustion of the travel, the old members (and the new)...the drama, the ties, the bickering, the forgiving, the annoyances, the love, the rediscovery. somehow i am thankful for it all because i feel as if there can't be one without the other. as my mother in law said, "better out than in"...and i hope we all hold each other to that and mark our own words.