day one

just got back from my annual beach trip, and i have been so inspired by my ladies that operation baby fat is in effect. for three weeks i am going to:
-cut out sugar
-cut out processed crap
-reduce carbs (esp after 3 pm--i was going to cut them out entirely after 3 pm, but i am concerned about milk supply issues)
-increase water
-control portions
-exercise hardcore 5 times a week

the idea is that this will become a habit. today was day one. exercised very strenuously at mccarren park and almost bit the dust. plus, i think i am detoxifying from my sins of overindulgence at the beach, so i have been a little headachy. still, it's the Right Thing To Do no matter how crappy my out of shape butt feels at the moment. i am really tired of looking and feeling schlumpy. plus, i need to take advantage of the tail-end of my breast feeding metabolic boost!

in max news, the boy is waving. it is just the cutest thing. he looks like his tiny little hand is milking a cow, and it cracks me up. i missed him on my first trip without baby, but not so much that i didn't have a fantastic time. so glad we have reached this point-- i never thought we would. beaching it with the girls always feels a bit like a new year to me, with resolutions and a sense of renewal and possibility. puts me in the mind of the zombies song:

"this will be our year
took a long time to come."

two chest pats and a fist extended to katherine. you're my girl. xo

showered with love

i am truly a blessed woman.

it all started with my mom (or i think it did...apparently many peeps have been working undercover in the wolfeinelli showering department). this spring, she delightfully announced to me that she wanted to throw us a shower, and throw one she did.

brian and i arrived in morgantown one sunny weekend in august and spent a gorgeous sunday surrounded by friends (ours and parental) and family. the day was a smashing success, which is a good thing, considering irene may have been a bit frantic about hosting the event. in the preceding days and weeks, i was emailed about many a detail, from themes (nixed) to games (definitely nixed) to irene's confusion over our desire to have the affair be co-ed ("but what will the MEN do?"). i agreed wholeheartedly to a "diaper cake" centerpiece which the crafty irene erected three layers tall...it consisted of about sixty rolled up diapers and was festooned with pacifiers, rattles, and other cute little toys. truly a sight to behold.


(the above photo is an approximation...dare i say irene's diy version was even better)

when consulted numerous times of what to serve, i suggested some grilled pizzas, in the interest of keeping things economical, fun, and easy. this proved to be stress-inducing for our hosts, i could tell, and my dear friend katie --personal chef and kitchen goddess-- stepped in to relieve the worries. she was quite a hit with the recently or soon-to-be retired menfolk, who apparently decided that what they would do, as irene had so fretted over, would be to quiz katherine on how they could improve upon their skills as home cooks and gourmands. thanks again, katie. you are seriously a trooper.

the following month, a very sneaky kara dean and dylan threw another affair. smart lady and busy mom that she is, kara arranged several committees, including those involving food (dylan), set up (heather dawn) and decorations (joyous aka "the white tornado" and deej, purveyor of all things good).

"what tha...?!"


it was a spectacular affair and, once again, the weather gods smiled upon us. kara dean had many fun activities planned, such as a compilation of fabric squares covered in handwritten labor wishes and a betting pool predicting when max will arrive! deej created favors of handmade, signature scented baby shoe soaps from vintage molds. amazing.



finally, just a couple of weeks ago, i was informed of an evening job for parents mag. apparently, a reshoot was needed due to a horrible kids groomer who was hired in a pinch when i was not available. smugly, i said, "sure, i'll do the reshoot", only to arrive at another surprise shower! the parents peeps raided their goodie closet (which is NOT a myth-- these things really do exist) and gifted max with all manner of adorable baby things, plus a lovely spa gift certificate for mama.

aside from compiling a registry and the consulting sessions with irene, i had nothing to do with any of this...and i couldn't imagine planning three more lovely, fun, and stress-free (for me, anyway) events. to quote my new favorite book momma zen, "the unplanning was perfect". a good lesson for nowlze in letting go of control, which i am certain will come in handy in the days to come.

speaking of which, i am 37 weeks today. max is full term. *gulp*.

beaches, weddings, breakdowns...will the fun ever end?

pardon the space between posts....i have been a busy bee!

on june 17, my sweet friend doggie and i set out to meet up with katherine and the girls for our annual ladies' beach trip. though there were several omissions this time around, what with new babies and moves and the like, we still had an amazing time. the girls who were there (myself included) REALLY needed the break!

as always, we ate like queens: homemade waffles with a dollop of fresh amish cottage cheese and raspberries, cracked crab, fish tacos, grilled corn on the cob...it was as if the deliciousness never ended. plus, the weather was perfect and i got to warm the bun. apparently, babies in utero see rose colors when you lay out in the sun...who knew?



(beach babies circa 2004)

a couple of days after the beach trip, my tanned butt (along with brian, heather, and the biscuit) made its way down to wv for the wedding of my little brother chris to the little firecracker. i don't think i can find the words to describe how thrilled i am to have jen as part of our fold. jen rocks. she is sweet, funny, smart, a lover of all creatures, and an amazing woman. she's truly one of those people who can light up a room. a total catch. and little bro, of course, is no slouch himself.

i managed to offer a toast to them at the rehearsal dinner without losing my sh*t completely and dissolving into a puddle of tears (a big accomplishment for me, considering that i had not managed to do this at my sister's rehearsal dinner, wherein i had a bit of an emotional breakdown). anyhoo, the dinner was lovely and the wedding even more beautiful.

jen was one of those radiant brides who had a great time at her wedding and seemed to be more concerned with how everyone around her was doing rather than anyone "spoiling her special day" or any of that crap. of course, i did finally manage to lose it at the wedding....what can i say? i am a sucker for a photo montage. damn the background music and the dissolving frames! and why did they both have to be such cute kids? i was putty in their hands and can only pray that i didn't make too much of a blubbering fool of myself.

and here we are , back in brooklyn. the newlyweds are probably sunning their hides on a pebbly hawaiian beach as we speak. beth and the kids are still in morgantown, and my mom will head back to lake tahoe with them. i miss them already, as everytime i see them, they're different people. i feel like sadie had just warmed up to me (allowing me to soothe her, wrapping her little hand around my finger) and poof!! i am gone. it sucks, but such is life. hopefully, it will not be the better part of a year before we see each other again, so long as someone is a good traveller (max, i'm talking to you, buddy).

yo yo yo---let's take that back a minute

i realize that in my mouse-induced insanity i managed to gloss over the greater half of my week! plus, i need to clear up something: it seems that my friend ehrrin believes i have defied her, and i need to set the record straight.

pre-sickness, i had decided that should i not be booked for any jobs on wednesday, i would attempt to drive to pittsburgh and see the dub perform with my brightest diamond at the warhol museum. this has been mentioned in previous posts. though i was no longer a twisted ball of achiness by wednesday, i was still in.....gastrointestinal distress. the thought of driving seven-plus hours was not appealing. plus, i was booked for a great job with this guy--amazing photographer who is sweet as apple pie.

so alas, da burgh was not to be. however, my dear friend katie schwartz came a' calling, asking if i was interested in recuperating at her beach house in stone harbor, nj. now THIS i could handle. after my job was over, the biscuit and i headed south, and were greeted by katie and her st. bernard, gus.

we shopped. we cooked. we ate...or atleast, i ate some of katie's delicious treats some of the time. the rest of the time i attempted any and all variations on the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast) so as to soothe my stomach. i substituted cheerios for toast most of the time, and katie accused me of smelling like a baby. plus, we picked out a christmas dress for me at tj maxx, and i think i officially reverted back to two years old. it was odd.

but back to the fun and less wierd stuff: the dogs cavorted on the beach. we chilled on the soafs and read magazines and watched the premier of project runway. katie and i booked massages with this guy, nick. nick gave me the best massage ever. my knots were untied...my muscles were unlocked...even my lower back, which feels pretty constantly inflamed and sore, was loose as a goose. as katie and i compared our blissful, noddley states, she asked me, "when nick massaged your scalp and then let your hair fall until every last stand was hanging, didn't you just feel like he loves you?" perhaps it's a "had to be there" moment that doesn't transfer well to the blog, but it's absolutely true. our massage therapist loves us.

post-massage, katherine had booked a couple of other spa treatments at a spot nearby. many dollars later, katie returned from her salt scrub and tanning treatment looking a little spotty. a little....streaked. and definitely not amused. luckily, much of it rubbed off, but in yet another "would only happen to katherine" moment, the poor thing was quite a scary shade of orange blotchiness for the better part of the afternoon, and kept repeating, "LOOK AT ME!!! I LOOK CRAZY!!"

by friday evening, the biscuit and i were prepared for a relaxing, easy return to brooklyn. instead we were scared shitless by insane drivers: on the BQE, a crazy driver decided it would be a great idea to swerve into the lane to his left. the motorist occupying that lane swerved into mine, and i in turn swerved to my left. thankfully, i did not hit the guard rail, but the biscuit flipped in his bag and hit the dashboard.

i panicked a bit. i unzipped his overturned sherpa bag, and a shaken bisquit crawled over onto my lap. his left ear was a little bent, but he was otherwise no worse for the wear.

drive carefully, my friends, and please watch out for "the other guy". from here on out, le bisquit will be belted in in his bag. and we move forward, thinking not of what could have been on the road, but thankful that we were spared (and maybe in a bit of karma -induced guilt, this is what i get when i defy ehrrin?).

bookmarks--a memoir

i was organizing my bookmarks, and some of them are pretty funny. for example: "Ridding Your Home of Fleas" (self-explanatory) and "Ecure me: T Flava", from when bdub had mysterious red and white spots up and down his back. others conjur up memories i'd rather not revisit for too long, like "Pilling Cats" or "The Animal Legal Defense Fund: Winning the Case Against Cruelty" or "LA Daily News- Tahoe Blaze, Homes Evacuated" (...the fire is unrelenting...you are forced to evacuate your home...it's the stereo or your son's darth vader mask that he just got for his fourth birthday. you go for the mask. you're his father...you lose everything else but none of it matters, really...).

still others, such as "Small Space Entertaining" bring me back specifically to a time and place: our tiny apartment, last thanksgiving, eight people for dinner. it's chilly and raining, so we can't eat out on the patio. i want us to sit down and have a nice dinner together. after much deliberation, we flip up our mattress against the wall and cover the whole shebang with a white sheet. we put out card tables and borrowed chairs, make gingerbread martinis and drink champagne and eat roast turkey and seitan with a red wine and mushroom sauce (for the veggies) and stuff ourselves with pie and bread pudding.

"njtransit.com/pdf/bus" is the schedule of buses from new york to atlantic city. while bdub was on tour last winter-into-spring, the biscuit and i boarded a bus to atlantic city where we met my friend katie. we spent the weekend at katie's family's beach house with her and her st. bernard, gus.

the biscuit got sprayed by a skunk that was making his home underneath the back porch...as long as i live, i will never forget his soaking wet, tomato juice-pink mug as we bathed him to rid him of the stink. he was such a trooper, and katie didn't even mention how much the smell permeated the house, the towels, everything. she made tuna noodle casserole and we chilled with our dogs and got caught up on each others' lives. it was a great weekend.

there are even bookmarks that give me hope for the future, such as "Good Questions: How Small An Apartment Can You Have a Baby In?". an awkward sentence, to be sure, but a good question indeed. i've read it again and again, and it gives me hope to hear of people's babies all over the world sleeping in dresser drawers and salad bowls. i like that. it makes the future (*ahem*, the very distant future--not the near future, thankyouverymuch, mom) seem not so impossible.

au revoir! tschuss! auf weidersehen! see ya!

i am OFF to europe!

le petit bisquit is at the lil bro's and the lil firecracker's. he is having a heck of a time...he actually "rooted", as in rooted around burying his plump little body into brush and grasses along a pond. how cute is my little country dog? his cousin, jackson, is a shining example of an exemplary canine, and is not afraid to put him in line with a bark or two...i expect the biscuit to return to me having learnt all of jackson's tricks as well as his good listening skills.

not too much excitement to note about my weekend, which is just how i wanted it: a couple of trips to target (where i did NOT get into a "targument", as jen and i like to say, with any target employees. on my last trip, i engaged myself in a debate with a target employee --think the pimply-faced "i'll have to ask my supervisor!" clerk from the simpsons-- over whether or not i should have to pay for a trashcan lid, despite my not having the faulty lid with me to exchange.




i think i made a pretty good case for myself....). in addition to tarjay was lots of laundry, mending, dog romping, eating.

on the way back to new york, i stopped and visited my sweet katie swartz, who has transformed her culinary prowess into
quite the small business. she's, like, already famous and she hasn't even been doing this for six months (she has scored the catering/personal cheffing for a reality show in her area! crazy!). it is completely NOT surprising, i'm sure, to anyone who knows her that she would suddenly be thrust into something as insane as a reality show. and did i mention that it features sextuplets? they were all swarming around her like a little hive when she showed up: "are you our chef? is this your car? what's on your car?"




i think i am, finally, almost ready for my trip. the only loose ends i have are transport-related. i used a service called hitcher.com, which connects people looking to share rides to the airport with each other. if you don't get a match (which i'm pretty sure i won't, as i don't think many people use their site yet), they send you a regular car service. however, i haven't heard a peep from them, and this concerns me.

more concerns involve finding my way around zurich. i am a hot mess. i have to pray to the good lord above that i can manage an early check in ( very early, like 8 am ish), catching the train from the airport to the city center and then on to the hotel, and then navigating to the hotel by foot.

thank god i have a sister and a good friend who let me cry all over the phone to them. i think i am seriously in over my head, but atleast i'll be here:



i am trying to master my swiss german before i go....did you know that THIS is actually a word?

"CHUCHICHÄSCHTLI"

yes. that is the swiss german word for "kitchen cupboard". i am so screwed.

this post has been edited to be nicer to my dear husband.