terrible two's

so truly, i feel like a worthless parent a lot of the time lately.

as for the things i have control over, i really am committed to doing my best: i feed the kid really good, very healthy whole foods. he begs for broccoli, so i feel ok in that right.

we stick to a schedule. even if he won't nap, we lay down at 1 pm for a nap, and he's in bed at 8:30.

we barely watch tv-- maybe an episode of dora here and there. he's a bookworm. i love this.

but, omg. he is a terror. he has been hitting me and my husband. diaper changes are often torturous.

when we need to head out somewhere (generally to take him to an activity like story time or a play group), he is less than amenable. he doesn't listen. at the mere suggestion that we need to get ready to leave, he will pull out the "drums" (pots and pans), listen to records, and read every book in the house.

once we are out of the house, he insists on driving the car if we're driving, and if we're strolling, he fights getting into the stroller.

he has turned into a big yeller. instead of just saying, "i'm done" or "i'd like a banana, please" (of which he is perfectly capable of doing and has done a million times), he will just YELL.

he pushes the dog. the only member of the household whom he treats with respect is the crotchety 14 year old himalayan cat, because we all know what will happen if you cross a 14 year old himalayan cat.

maybe i could learn a thing or two from the cat.

and "helpful" facebook "friends" respond to my status updates of "two year old driving me up a wall" with things like, "just wait til he's three!!"

that is sooooooo not what i needed to hear, friend.

i try to be consistent with the discipline. i NEVER let him get away with hitting me. i am not at all afraid of a public time out, and have plopped him down in the middle of the pharmacy or grocery store for two minutes without a second thought.

i offer choices rather than make demands. i try to be a good model (you don't see bdub and i swatting each other's faces or yelling at the dinner table).

the waters are getting rough out there. moms, if you are reading, throw me an oar. do i just wait this out, and keep the consistency of what i am doing (even if it doesn't seem to be working)? do i need a different approach? do i shrug it off, and accept that this, too, shall pass? because while he is adorable, hilarious, compassionate, and sweet as sugar lots of the time, the black cloud of terrible twos is encroaching on my home, and i don't like it.

it's in the book!

one of max's favorite things to do lately is to quote from one of his favorite stories, and then say, "it's in the book!"

yesterday's was one of my favorites. we were eating breakfast, and max bumped his knees onto the table, spilling my coffee a little. i quoted sam and the firefly by p.d. eastman, saying "that was a bad trick. bad tricks are not fun."

sam and the firefly is one of our faaaaaaavorite books. max can recite it in its entirety. when there has been a minor infraction (not quite time-out or 1,2,3 magic-style warning worthy), we tend to use the "bad tricks are not fun" line.

without missing beat, he replied:

"oh, go on home, you old hen! what to YOU know about fun?" and then quickly, "it's in the book!"

lil' hug

isn't it amazing how the tiniest detail can spark a memory?

i was strolling with max during yesterday's unseasonably gorgeous afternoon, when i spied an empty little hug container on the ground (i have recently found out that these are also referred to as "quarter water" in some parts. these were never more that a dime when i was little....i am old).

i was immediately reminded of trips to the grocery store with my dad, and the bribes he would use to get me to go: little hugs. i got a little hug upon completion of our trip (either to Kroger or Super Cheap, the other grocery store in our part of morgantown at the time). it occurred to my 35 year old self that despite years of believing that my dad really, really wanted my company (sometimes he would practically BEG me to go with him)....perhaps he was just getting me out of my mom's hair for a while? after all, i am one of five.

so i sent him this email:

subject:
quick question

hi dad,
something occurred to me today that i had to ask you about:

when i was little and you used to bribe me with a little hug (remember those?) to go to the grocery store with you, was it because you really wanted the company or because you wanted to do mom and favor and give her a break?

it's ok if it's the latter, of course, because i always only thought the former and never suspected otherwise until today. i guess that is what being a parent does to you. :)

so anyway, job well done (but please do answer me honestly).

xo
nowlzie

and here is my dad's reply:

Interesting question, Noe. It was a little of both, but mainly because I wanted you to tag along. As I recall the bribe sometimes went beyond a hug to a candy bar.
Thanks for the wonderful memories. It made me misty.
dad