yo yo yo---let's take that back a minute

i realize that in my mouse-induced insanity i managed to gloss over the greater half of my week! plus, i need to clear up something: it seems that my friend ehrrin believes i have defied her, and i need to set the record straight.

pre-sickness, i had decided that should i not be booked for any jobs on wednesday, i would attempt to drive to pittsburgh and see the dub perform with my brightest diamond at the warhol museum. this has been mentioned in previous posts. though i was no longer a twisted ball of achiness by wednesday, i was still in.....gastrointestinal distress. the thought of driving seven-plus hours was not appealing. plus, i was booked for a great job with this guy--amazing photographer who is sweet as apple pie.

so alas, da burgh was not to be. however, my dear friend katie schwartz came a' calling, asking if i was interested in recuperating at her beach house in stone harbor, nj. now THIS i could handle. after my job was over, the biscuit and i headed south, and were greeted by katie and her st. bernard, gus.

we shopped. we cooked. we ate...or atleast, i ate some of katie's delicious treats some of the time. the rest of the time i attempted any and all variations on the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast) so as to soothe my stomach. i substituted cheerios for toast most of the time, and katie accused me of smelling like a baby. plus, we picked out a christmas dress for me at tj maxx, and i think i officially reverted back to two years old. it was odd.

but back to the fun and less wierd stuff: the dogs cavorted on the beach. we chilled on the soafs and read magazines and watched the premier of project runway. katie and i booked massages with this guy, nick. nick gave me the best massage ever. my knots were untied...my muscles were unlocked...even my lower back, which feels pretty constantly inflamed and sore, was loose as a goose. as katie and i compared our blissful, noddley states, she asked me, "when nick massaged your scalp and then let your hair fall until every last stand was hanging, didn't you just feel like he loves you?" perhaps it's a "had to be there" moment that doesn't transfer well to the blog, but it's absolutely true. our massage therapist loves us.

post-massage, katherine had booked a couple of other spa treatments at a spot nearby. many dollars later, katie returned from her salt scrub and tanning treatment looking a little spotty. a little....streaked. and definitely not amused. luckily, much of it rubbed off, but in yet another "would only happen to katherine" moment, the poor thing was quite a scary shade of orange blotchiness for the better part of the afternoon, and kept repeating, "LOOK AT ME!!! I LOOK CRAZY!!"

by friday evening, the biscuit and i were prepared for a relaxing, easy return to brooklyn. instead we were scared shitless by insane drivers: on the BQE, a crazy driver decided it would be a great idea to swerve into the lane to his left. the motorist occupying that lane swerved into mine, and i in turn swerved to my left. thankfully, i did not hit the guard rail, but the biscuit flipped in his bag and hit the dashboard.

i panicked a bit. i unzipped his overturned sherpa bag, and a shaken bisquit crawled over onto my lap. his left ear was a little bent, but he was otherwise no worse for the wear.

drive carefully, my friends, and please watch out for "the other guy". from here on out, le bisquit will be belted in in his bag. and we move forward, thinking not of what could have been on the road, but thankful that we were spared (and maybe in a bit of karma -induced guilt, this is what i get when i defy ehrrin?).