Wednesday, October 17, 2007

the lure of the mysterious lemon lady

it should have been an easy enough shot to get, really: the story is about "teasing". two two-year-olds. kiddie model one, in the back, was to play the role of the teaser ("stick out your tongue!" "put your hands on your hips!" "shake your finger!"). kiddie model two, in the front, was to play the role of the wounded child.

a problem arose when it became clear that kiddie models one and two adored each other. it was simply not in one's nature to be mean to two. two couldn't stop flirting and grinning at one. we tried to throw in a stuffed lion for them to play tug of war...but they just hugged the lion and each other.

enter the mysterious lemon lady. the photographer, alexandra, prefers lemon in her tea. naturally, her loyal assistant, todd, purchased the cutest little lemon for her this morning on the way to the studio. being the artiste that he is, todd scribbled a face on the tiny lemon and gave it some fringed masking tape hair. we chuckled for a minute at the lemon lady. as we reviewed the shots we had so far, we showed the lemon lady to kiddie one.




one loooooved the lemon lady. she loved to hold her and breathe in her lemony scent. the lemon lady was irresistable.

and then it dawned on me: i would introduce the lemon lady to two.

of course, one wasn't giving up the lemon lady so easily. she first looked at two with confusion. "et tu?"

two clung to the precious lemon lady for dear life. he had her, and he wasn't giving her up without a fight.

we had our shot. the wails, the faces streaming with tears and flushed skin of pink. the grabbing, the crying. good people that we are (or atleast, we would like to think, not completely heartless), we couldn't take it any more. it was too upsetting. we took them off of the set and tried to console them with tangerines and apples that we had sitting around. but what to do with the lemon lady?

of course, we took the only logical course of action and we hid her. we reattached her hair and wiped her smeared face. i sat on the couch with one and showed her that her tangerine smelled and TASTED terrific-- much better than that sour old lemon! she seemed pleased. we colored. we were friends again. she changed her clothes and toddled off with her mom.

as i rose from the couch, much to my dismay, i discovered that i had sat in something wet. karma had literally gotten me in the ass. two people who happened to walk by the studio laughed at me as i blowdried my butt.

all in a day's work, i suppose.

2 comments:

Ehrrin said...

I would totally kick a two year-old's ass to get my hands on that lemon lady!

(just foolin')

Nowlze, you are a good time. I read this, threw my head back (semi-dramatically), and I laughed!

Kage said...

see...that's my good assistant wrangler!!! WAy to go.