and for our next kill....

...i wussed out and called my sister in law and her boyfriend, nick.

heather, if you are reading, let me just say this: a man who will come over to your sister in law's apartment at 1 am to help her dispose of a dead baby mouse is one thing--a keeper.

(and here they are, dumping the contents of the zapper:)



of course, last night as i settled in for a relaxing evening at home (this was pre-kill), i thought i would give my email one last check. this appeared in my inbox:


Hi, Noelle,

I know this is rather last minute, and we've never worked together, but I ran into your website when I was searching for a makeup artist.

I have a test shoot tomorrow night (January 26) from 5:30-9ish, with Tara from DNA Models. My regular makeup artist had to decline due to a job, and I've exhausted my other resources.

Please let me know if you're interested."

i looked at his website and it is killer, just the kind of stuff i need for my book.

alas, i was too late. in the two hours between him sending me his email and my reply, he had already found someone for the job.

ah well, atleast i made a new contact, i suppose. one who already has a regular makeup artist. (argh.)

zzaaaaapp!!!!! an update!

ding! dong!
one mouse dead. probably about two hundred more to go (i wish i were joking).

rat zapper's online support was wonderful: after the one who got away (as mentioned in my previous post) i contacted the fine people at rat zapper and have been emailing with a nice woman named cathi for a larger part of the day. she was asking me questions like,

"Was the red light flashing as well as the bait missing with your missed kill?"

"Was this your only missed kill?"

"Could the back of the unit have been touching anything metal?"

and then she got ever-so-gradually more personal with her correspondence:

"I use four Rat Zappers as well as 10 lazy cats and am well aware that those of us who battle rodents want them gone yesterday."

and

"There is a possibility that the metal contact could have an effect. I occasionally get this sort of grounding with my electric horse fencing which is lots of fun when the horses figure it out and escape.

Regards,
Cathi"

i love people like cathi. they are the types of peeps that make me want to leave new york and relocate somewhere where people just want to interact kindly with each other...where people actually give a shit about customer service and other people's problems. but i digress....

i moved the zapper a little further away from our metal metro shelving, threw in a couple of wheat thins and flipped the switch.

lucky for me, after the deed was done, i called our sweet landlord and he was here in a jiffy to dispose of our dead friend (bdub is out of town for the next two days). i fear that for the next kill, i am on my own! eek!

zap!

if only the UPS guy could see the contents of my recent packages from amazon.

the neti pot, which arrived shining and new on monday was a thrill. bdub took some lovely photos of my first attempt, but i fear they are just too gross and involve too much snot and other nastiness for me to post them. however, the neti pot has made me a believer: for the first time since christmas, i can breathe out of my right nostril!! hallelujah!

yesterday's package was even better, though. honestly, it made my day. finally, my rat zapper ultra had arrived!


i know it is highly unlike me, the semi-vegetarian, peta membership having, humane society volunteering, all-around animal obsessed lady to be so psyched about such a crazy deadly device, but the mice have drove me to it. last night one scurried by my shoe and under the couch where i was trying to relax. they have advanced ever closer to our sleeping and chillaxin' quarters, and i have HAD it.

the only bummer is that the little pieces of dog food bdub placed in the zapper last night were gobbled up by this morning, and no dead mouse was left behind in their place. i have put in an email to rat zapper tech support and will report back.

i really pray that this works. it's my only hope.

not so good.

today is not such a good day.

in fact, i believe that i have been putting off blogging since my last post due to the series of not so good days that have followed it. time to come clean.

i firmly believe that my career is in the toilet. i have compiled this list of jobs that have fallen through over the last few weeks (and, this is after waiting patiently for things to "pick up" at the new agency....to adjust, to allow for clients to get used to me at a new place, to get my new promotional materials in order. that was back in september. it is now january)

i have been busting my ass trying to find better photographers to do test shoots with. i have sent probably one hundred emails, i have put the word out to anyone and everyone that i know in the industry, asking them to keep me in mind should they know of anyone who is testing. for those of you who don't know, testing is usually free. it is done to improve the quality of one's work and to showcase your skill. it is done to build your portfolio. my potfolio looks dated and amateur due to the pool of photographers i have worked with (no offense, guys, if you're reading) as well as my hiatus from testing due to working with the kids, and is not up to snuff. it is imperative that i build it, but it's as if i am lost at sea when i comes to finding very professional, talented people to work with.

so here's the list:

12/30: spec shoot for an indie mag with promising photographer who contacted me. apparently she had "promised" a friend that they could do makeup on the shoot, so she called me to cancel.

1/5 and 1/6: look book (like a mini-catalog) with photographer who contacted me from via the internet, asked me if i was available for the job, set the rate, i agreed....and then she never contacted me again. i emailed her at the beginning of that week and was told that they got someone else and would contact me for work in the future. um, no thanks. i prefer to work with people who don't screw me at the last minute.

1/18: recommended by a friend for a kid's commercial. email the contact, they reply, i reply....then i don't hear another word from them. i email again asking if they still need me, and dude replies (out of NOWHERE), "i like to meet people before i work with them. you would have to meet with me first." i find this to be shady (which it is in my field, especially since this was never brought up until two days before the shoot date) so that job was also canned.

1/21-1/25: was contacted by a photographer's assistant (for a great photographer) about doing paid testing during this week. i agree and say i am available. never heard from them again.

1/23: photo editor from real simple called; had been trying to find me and wants to book me. i say i am available and to call david, my booker. my booker thinks i am doing the paid testing as mentioned above and tells her i am already booked.

1/24: got an email from a good friend and former photo editor at a kid's mag; she now works at a shopping mag. asked if i was available for the 24th to shoot the cover (which would require hair and makeup for one woman). i don't hear anything from her again, so i email her. she tells me that since i am represented as a kid's groomer, she feels uneasy booking me for this (it's her first cover with the new mag). i direct her to my website which has my makeup work on it (not just kids). i don't hear from her again and i don't get the job.

1/28-2/2: i was what is known as an "option" for a catalog shooting in miami during this week (this means that they asked to see my book and had me tentatively hold the days). worked with the client before, they requested my book again. i didn't accept work on the 29th for fear i would have to cancel at the last minute. needless to say, i did not get the catalog job. i am also out the tv job on the 29th.

what is going on with me?
is this a sign?
should i move it along?
start over?
work harder?
change trajectories?
did i make a huge mistake going with this agency?

i feel as if i am completely lost. just lost. i don't know what to do. i have money in the bank but i am so scared of it running out. i am way below what i was making last year at this time. not only am i not getting new jobs, i feel as if i am LOSING clients from jobs i have gotten in the past, and i don't understand it.

i work hard, i am punctual, i try to be as positive as possible on the job, i am helpful, i try for my work to be clean, precise, beautiful, neat, deep, and most importantly, whatever is called for by the client. i wrangle the kids on set (i wipe their noses and sing to them and make them smile). i try to take good care of whomever is in my chair. i am even nice to the stage moms who i want to punch half of the time (even when no one else is).

?

precious little thing

don't know if i announced this to the world of my blog, but my little bro and his lady, the little firecracker, are getting married this summer!

and it's about *bleepin* time.

my nephew jasper is to be the ringbearer for this affair and since i have the line on the latest in children's attire, my mom has put me in charge of outfitting him. no small task, lemme tell you, especially as this is a child who (bless him) has taken to wearing his batman pajamas 99% of the time, or whenever he can get away with it.

exhibit a:





exhibit b:





exhibit c:



actually, i think that he currently has several superhero t-shirts in rotation.

exhibit d:


this is as it should be for an imaginative four and a half year old, and my point being that this is not some precious, impish, little lord fontleroy of a boy we are talking about. this is jasper, and jasper rules.

so with that in mind, i was on the hunt for appropriate, cool, comfortable children's wear. i was thinking semi-casual, because i think the jazzman has a bit of a surfer boy edge to him. high and low i have looked for drawstring linen pants (heck, i would even settle for seersucker at this point), perhaps a raw, loose white tunic and some leather sandals to go with.

what i found astounded me. this, for example, is terrifying:




of course, the wedding will be in wv. maybe jasper would be open to channeling his inner garth brooks?




(that look is described as the "junior cattleman" on the website. puke.)

as a last resort, there is also the option of my mom busting out the old sewing machine and making jasper's attire herself. plus, if a tuxedo weren't going to cut it, he could always go as a revolutionary war boy and walk down the aisle ringing a little bell ("the british are coming!"). i also LOVE the uncle sam option! cute!




of course, i'm just kidding around. i think it'd be fine if we went with a nice --OH DEAR GOD!! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THAT POOR KIDDIE MODEL?!

where do you stand?

kara dean passed on this quiz thingie to me that i think is just tops:

electoral compass

lets you know who you line up with on the issues of economics, the environment, gun control, health care, and several others. i am 92% in line with obama! crazy!

dogs will be dogs

last night i am cuddling up to some deliciously bad tv (i believe it was "miss america: reality check") when the biscuit comes to his feet and gives me that "i'm going to puke" look.

i hoist him to the floor just in time for him to barf up a small puddle of liquid (his usual)....only to realize that he's not done yet. he proceeds to puke again, this time the biggest hairball i've ever seen. in fact, the biscuit has never puked up hairball in his life. weird.

i grab some paper towels and as i'm lifting the "hairball" i realize...that's no hairball. honest to god, my dog had consumed an entire. baby. mouse. i was cleaning up a baby mouse torso (no head or tail, thank you very much).

i send you this message as a reminder that while our dogs are adorable, while they are our snuggly little babies who do the cutest things and shower us with kisses and cuddles, they also eat garbage....and other dogs' poop....and baby mice. whole.

the movie team

over the past three days, i have been volunteering with my friend and fellow makeup artist dina for a project wherein disadvantaged children learn how to make a movie (more explanation here). honestly, when dina emailed looking for a cohort i jumped at the chance, as for the last seven years i have been trying to sort my head around how i could possibly do some MUCH needed volunteer work in this place. around every corner in new york is an opportunity for volunteerism, from neighborhood beautification projects to working with the many disadvantaged children to homeless outreach.

for the freelancer, though, it is absolutely impossible to fill in the crucial box on all volunteer application forms which reads "days/hours of availability". however, january is s-l-o-o-w....i was not booked for work, and thus i took a chance that the days would remain free as we headed up to hawthorne cedar knolls, a westchester county residential school for students in crisis.

the students had already pow-wowed and come up with the concept for the script...i'll spare you the entire synopsis, but it involved a homeless woman (really an angel in disguise), a king and a princess, a rapper, a dancer, a basketball player, a rock star....the characters of teen dreams. most of the kids had very specific ideas for their "looks" as well, which they were more than happy to convey to us: they wanted sparkles. goatees. to look like jennifer hudson in "dream girls". lashes. gloss. i was impressed when they received their costumes (which were from goodwill, as the budget was very low). they were so gracious, so excited; quite the contrast from incredibly spoiled kids i sometimes encounter on the job, who scowl and roll their eyes when asked to wear the designer samples laid out for them by a professional stylist.

there were, of course, some moments of some frustrated kids. there were some meltdowns, some incidents reminiscent to me of my job at reed junior high and central islip HS on long island... that old familiar tune of "i like you but i have no idea how to affectively express my emotions so i am going to say things that are aggressive and kind of harsh, but i don't really mean it".

more often than not, though, there were things said to us like, "thank you for coming! you are both beautiful!" and "i feel beautiful!" and "i LOVE my makeup!". there were, better yet, a couple of young ladies with hard as nails extertiors who broke into smiles (a rare sight for the true tough girls) when they finally looked in the mirror. i would venture to say that there can be no greater reward for a makeup artist than that smile (impossible to be faked), and we were so intoxicated by the girls' satisfaction that if all goes well, dina and i will be back to beautify them all again for their prom this spring.

"i want corn. soft corn."

something is seriously wrong with bdub and i. we are OBSESSED with this video and view it daily (sometimes more than once a day). we cannot stop saying "key chain" and "i want banana".

view it for yourself and you'll see what i mean.



and in all honesty, despite the title of this post, i do NOT want corn. i have been reading the omnivore's dilemma and lemme tell you, corn is scary. it's everywhere. in everything. corn is us and we are corn.

one of my new year's resolutions is to eat as little as possible from a bag or a box. that includes YOU, high fructose corn syrup.

merry new year!!

much to our surprise and delight, bdub and i did not attend any organized festivities on new year's eve. we forewent invitiations to house parties and to bars, and instead decided to take a walk.

that's it. just take a walk down to the water on grand avenue (aka grand ferry park) and ring in '08 drinking in the view of manhattan along with our champagne. we leashed the biscuit and packed our bag with the necessary things:






we strode passed the hipsters and house parties... the angry, drunken youths outside of the delis...the foodies loudly reviewing their new year's eve dinners ("everything was just ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!" we heard one woman exclaim in front of aurora).

as we reached our destination, our hearts sunk as we discovered that our once adorable waterfront has been fenced off by developers. i am hopeful that this is just a temporary stay.

before:








today:








the biscuit was so dismayed that he couldn't even look:









onward we marched up to mccarren park where, with mere minutes to spare, we popped open our champagne,










counted down the seconds,









and rang in 2008 with a kiss. just us.









afterwards, we took the luckiest dog in brooklyn to the dog run.....which, truth be told, is a lot less fun when it's cold and damp and there are no other dogs to play with. the biscuit just kind of stared at us once we were within the gates, had himself a pee, and we leashed him back up again and made the walk home.

we ended our evening with snacks and a viewing of radiohead's little film "scotch mist" (current tv was showing the webcast...so no, we are not so nerdy that we snuggled up in front of our laptop on new year's eve to watch a radiohead webcast! but i digress...). pretty amazing, and i am not usually one to necessarily have my attention held by such things for such a length of time. i liked knowing that perhaps one band was doing its best to try to move the music industry in a different direction. this gave me hope for the future somehow.

so as i sit here typing away on january 2nd, reflecting upon what has felt like the holiday that will never end, i am sweating it a bit. i have ONE DAY of work on the books for 2008. of course, the nature of my job is generally sooo last minute with the bookings that 99% of the time i do not procure these until 24-72 hours ahead of time. thus, i need to relax...but i fear that i am beginning to get a little freaked out by this career of mine (and why didn't i schedule a trip somewhere this month? that always eases the pain of slowness). perhaps it's time i looked for work that is a little more reliable? somewhere between the hell that is teaching middle school kids and the bliss that is working days or weeks in a row on shoots?

eh. i dunno. i'm open for any/all suggestions or words of wisdom, though. of course, perhaps next week i will be booked up the wazoo and pining for my next day off. could be. rinse. dry. repeat.