oh boy...

yes, we're having a max (not a neve as i had convinced myself). it's crazy, because more and more, i had been picturing a little max running around....or, actually, being mellow and chilling out with me and his dad and his cousins. who knows? perhaps my instincts will be off with that personality assessment, too, but let's hope that they are more on point this time (i have felt from the beginning that i would either give birth to a crazy-lady girl or a mellow, easy-going boy.)

as much as i do love the precocious, little city girl with the striped tights sagging at the ankles over the jumpers and the mussed ponytail from riding the subway, i have let that dream go this time around....because really, that was a dream about stuff. and if i am going to be completely honest, a dream about a little version of me (that maybe i could "get right" a second time around.) egotistical? yes. i need to allow this little bean the autonomy of being nothing but himself.

already a lesson learned. still, i do have a healthy dose of fantasy lurking within, of a mini-bdub this time, but one of those sweet city kids who is savvy yet compassionate, confident and independent yet lovin' his mama, and with a world view which we never knew as kids...one that i pray will make him a person who sees more beyond himself. i have also realized from talking with my kick-ass husband that i can still raise an ass-kicking, strong feminist....after all, i married one.

but enough about me. here's to you, max. keep on kickin'. your mama loves you.