for example, on my way to work today, i observed a man kind of yelling at some guys who were stocking some items (produce maybe?) from a truck. i immediately thought, "hello, crazy" until i passed by the man in question and got a whiff. he smelled FANTASTIC. really, really nice, and i am generally not a huge fan of cologne, but this was spicy, woodsy, fresh-soapy all rolled into one. my friend rebecca pointed out to me that with the mentally incapacitated, hygiene is one of the first things to go, so perhaps i misjudged him.
random thought #2 is that i think i need to break up with the professional. it seems that lately when i find myself performing the juggling act of meeting my own needs, meeting my child's needs and taking care of business, this somehow ends up being put into question at therapy.
to whom am i comparing myself?
am i running away? can i not just enjoy my time with max?
do i come up with distractions? why?
and you know what? i'm a little done with that. is this truly helpful to me? when bdub was out of town last week, the boy and the biscuit and i high-tailed our butts up to beacon to hang with karadean and her boys. and no, i didn't want to be alone in my apartment with my 17 month old all day long for two days.
and we had a great time, and it meant a lot to my bff-since-9th-grade that we came up, despite the dog puking all over the back seat, and despite us needing to leave by 3:30 so we could beat the traffic.
so what am i running from? does it really matter? maybe i am running towards open arms that love me and want me and the boy and our dog who puked all over their brand new slate floors to sit down and stay awhile. i don't know why they would want us, because we are a bit of a sorry lot sometimes, and we cry and fuss and make a mess.....but i'll take it.
the photo below was taken by my dear friend, kelly jones. she is cool loveliness, very real and clearly a woman of many talents. this image knocks my socks off, takes my breath away, and rocks my world, all at once:
